Met my first up in Oklahoma
When I was just sweet sixteen
I was a bar back in a honky-tonk
Where she kept the dishes clean
Daddy was a preacher and he came in handy
When we took vows for life,
She was, my friends, my first ex-wife
My first ex-wife – how cruel can one girl be,
To take a chance and make romance then the perfect fool of me
My first ex-wife, I love her heart and soul
She was my one and only love until she had to go
But she’d moved in with a Bible salesman
When I came home from the war,
So I got hitched to a Wichita Widow,
Had legs clear out the door
Next was a teacher from Texarkana
But all she taught me was strife,
And she was, my friends, my last ex-wife

Hold your hats, look what comin’
Across the hardwood floor,
Long blonde hair, ten years younger
With legs clear out the door
Pardon me boys, but moments like this
Only happen once in a life
I think I just met, my next ex-wife
My next ex-wife, oh who will that girl be?
To have a chance to make romance and a perfect fool of me
My next ex-wife, I’ll love her heart and soul
She’ll be my one and only love, til one of us will go