Who’ll take out your garbage when I’m gone, long gone
Who’ll be there to eaves drop when you’re on the telephone
Who will whisper words sincere
Who will help you share your beer
Oh, who’ll take out your garbage if I’m gone

Don’t I always pick ya up from work
Except when I’m looking for a job
Who’ll be there to scold you when you flirt
Who’d be there for you to call a slob

Oh, who’ll take out your garbage when I’m gone, long gone
Who’ll pretend to listen when you start to moan groan
Who will pawn his tools for cash when we’re running low on stash
Oh, who’ll take out your garbage if I’m gone

Don’t I pay half of your insurance
Just so we both can drive your car
Who will help me when I’m under the influence?
From the golf course to the bar

Don’t I always tell you when you’re phat, that’s p-h-a-t
Every time we’re crusin’ down the street
Don’t I always let you scratch my back
Don’t I always let you rub my feet

Who’ll take out your garbage if I’m gone
Who will interrupt you and tell you when you’re wrong
Who will whisper words so sweet
Who’ll lift your toilet seat
Oh, who’ll take out your garbage if I’m gone

Who’ll take out your garbage if I’m gone, long gone
Who’ll pretend to listen when you start to moan and groan
Who will hock his tools for cash when we’re running low on stash
Oh, who’ll take out your garbage,
Who’ll take out that garbage,
Who’ll take out your garbage if I’m gone